should've

04/01/2014

i'm baaaaack in the US and I miss canada and my baby already.

It's like really, really easy to get used to having her there and it is hard to adjust to going back to where i am now and just having work and only being able to have her online. but she invited me to germany next year and i have already worked out how i can save up the money for the flight.

i didn't kiss her (i know, i know) but i also feel like it's okay that i didn't, because this was our first two weeks together and we are both used to moving a little slower in that kind of relationship, and i mean i know i should've because my next chance won't be for another year, but at the same time i don't want to feel like i was forced into doing something when i wasn't ready. and i still love her, whether i kissed her or not. and if she didn't kiss me, either, maybe she wasn't ready for that. I know she sometimes has trouble with intimacy and feeling uncomfortable with her body, and she wrote in her note, that she gave me to take with me and read on the bus, that she maybe had expected different behaviors from her and maybe i had, too. but i didn't expect her to do anything she wasn't ready for, and we had both said that we would not ~Plan~ for anything to happen (sex or otherwise) and we would make sure it was right for both of us. Esp since I'm still a newbie (having only even KISSEd one other person, and that was after almost a year of dating him).

did i mention she smells good? and her hair feels nice, i like running my hands over it. and holding her hand. and snuggling. and she claims that she snores but i never heard her snore once. she does squeak sometimes in the morning when she wakes up, like a guinea pig. it's cute ^^

in sad news, my liquor store boss went to the Emergency Room last night. She had a heart attack and had to have stents put in (IDK what that is, but I was told she had 90% blockage which I KNOW is a lot). Anyway, today (tuesday) is our delivery day, when we put up the liquor. And she's still recovering from her surgery so I am doing that and the ordering by myself (well, with a little help from the boys) as WELL as all the first of the month stuff, like inventory and reports and stuff. It's okay because I've done it before, but I'm kind of tense about having to do all that when I've only been back two days.

I'm also worried about Sheryl because I know she is stubborn and she'll try to come back to work as soon as possible. But our big boss, Kathleen, said she won't let Sheryl back without a doctor's note saying she can work. Because she doesnt' want Sheryl to overwork herself.

anyway um, i am attaching some pictures of me and my bb