Yea ... that's what I need to do
Today was a good day. I mean yea, I woke up an hour late but whatever. I still made it to work on time. Tony came by my job and brought me some money on what he owes me. I still can't believe that he followed through on it. He asked me to believe in him, told me that he wouldn't let me down ... I just have such a hard time believing people these days. I feel like everyone has a hidden agenda, like they're all out to get me somehow or another because most of my relationships since Big - and even including Big - have been based on lies. It's my fault though. I want so badly to please people that I will do anything for them and then - I hang my head low as I say this - even when I know something is up, I still do it because at least someone cares someone ... UGH I was going to say cares about me but they don't care about me. They care about what I do for them and when I stop doing for them they forget that I ever existed. And for Tony to really follow through on this ... oh it means the world to me.
After work, I went to dinner with an old friend. I love spending time with her. We've been through a lot and we share so many memories. I love being around her. She is so uplifting and inspiring. I couldn't imagine being in her shoes. I think about it all of the time - what I would do if I was suddenly paralyzed. She doesn't let it hold her back. She told me that she believed God gave her a second chance and she wasn't going to abuse it by sulking ... Amazing |