As I've mentioned in the past, I don't really care for living this life. Life sucks, but I am not suicidal. I'm also not afraid of death. I sometimes want to ask God what exactly He wants me here for. Although I thought I figure it out a few years ago, I haven't seen the necessary level of results yet. So, I am asking God.
God, forgive me for not valuing this life, but it is hard. I know you want me here to serve, and you already have used me to serve (to a certain extent), but it is not nearly the level that I thought I would. Since I know that you think even bigger than me, I am sure that it's not at the level that you want me to.
Sometimes (actually very often), I just feel like telling God to just take me away from this life. However, I have not done that yet. I haven't given up, but it's really hard. It's really hard on this road less traveled. Some people who've gone on the road less traveled knows, but most people have no idea. I've been on the well-worn path in the past (as most people are on.) Life is not easy on that path also, but it's definitely not as difficult as when you are at the early part of the journey on the road less traveled.
Why are we (people on the road less traveled) willing to take the tremendous difficulty. That's because the rewards are much greater in the end (not just for ourselves, but for multitudes.)
Maybe the purpose of this limbo depressive state is to get me to not fear death, as all servants of God should not fear death.
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