It’s one of those days where I am reminded that I don’t
really care if I die. I don’t care if
God takes me away. However, it would be
nice to know the exact date of death so that I can prepare things before I leave.
I don’t know what God has in store for me. Not too long ago, He seemed to have hinted
that He would take me away, and I was completely okay with it. It may be that every one of His servant is
prepared in different ways so that they do not fear death. The apostles did not fear death. His prophets did not fear death. Maybe this is the way He shaped me to not
fear death. By giving me this sense of
the misery of this life and this world.
My lousy feeling is also my fault because I’ve fallen back
on bad habits. The funny thing is that
this happened after meeting with some bad associations (friends who are not
spiritual and they don’t get it and they don’t want to get it.)