what's it like to lose your mind? awful. frustrating. horrible. you forget everything, even the most simplest hings. like your name, how to breathe or write, what you were doing two seconds ago. who you are. it's irritating and no one understands, seems like no one even cares. everyone is either angry or disappointed with you and you have no idea why. things you used to know you forgot a long time ago. it's like reality is slipping through your fingers. it's confusing, because you don't know or you can't remember. it's depressing, and you really aren't sure why. it's emotionally frustrating, because you are trying to remember, but you can'. if you know yourself well enough, you know it's happening, in a way. ignorance isn't always bliss, especially when you knew before. you knew then everything you don't know now. it's hard. especially when you try to explain what is wrong, but you can't find the words that used to come so easily before. what do you tell people when they ask you what's wrong? "i'm crazy"? "i don't know"? or how about "i'm just losing my mind"? no. you just brush it off as nothing. what else can you do? not a damn thing, that's what. no one will take it seriously. no one will take you seriously. they think you are being melodramatic or over dramatizing things, or that you are simply a hypochondriac. not thinking that something might actually be wrong. it's either a joke or a disease. you are either a laughing stock and the butt of every cruel joke and target for insults and harsh words, or you are shunned and treated like a leper. there really is no middle ground. not truly. the only people who actually understand are JUST LIKE YOU. just like me. next time someone tells you something like that, don't just brush it off. especially if they normally don't say stuff like that. maybe next time pay attention a little better to how they act, how they speak. maybe next time you could save a life. some people plaster a fake smile on their faces and try to go about daily life as if nothing is wrong. almost like they can convince themselves they are okay, or if they ignore it that it'll disappear. others can recognize the problem and try to get help before it really is too late. some aren't so lucky. some go through their entire lives miserable and confused because they don't know. i know. i know all too well. so, what's it like to lose your mind? it's hell on earth..... |
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