*sigh* so i had another bad day with my hearing today. my ears got so pressurized that it gave me a migraine that made me nauseous for about six hours. and i was at work the entire time. :/my hearing was almost gone again today. everything sounded like i had tons of water in my ears and it hurt. quite a lot actually. my motor skills are slowly getting worse, my hands don't want to work as well anymore, and my speech is slowly declining as well. i don't know how well i can handle this. i'm only 23 and i'm losing my ability to hear and speak properly, and my body won't cooperate like i want it too, i get migraines all the time, and i cannot walk a straight line to save my life. my vision is starting to be affected by this as well. people wonder why i am so depressed. other than not knowing where the hell i stand with my husband in our relationship and being unsure if he still loves me or if hes just using me for something else, this is the reason. i'm slowly losing function of my ears and eyes, and my motor skills are disappearing a little more each day. kinda hard to take in at 23years of age.......hubby says he will still love me even if i'm bound to a wheelchair by the time i hit 40, but how can i love myself at that point? oh i forgot to mention that. there is a high probability that i could be completely deaf and lose all motor skill by the time i hit 40 years of age. it has started, and is constantly getting worse. even now, i have an ache in between my ears, and my vision is going fuzzy. my hands aren't wanting to work either. i'm sleeping much more than i used to and i have been waking up exhausted because it is not a good night's sleep. i'm trying to be truly happy but it is very hard considering i can't hear people speak to me half the time. the other half i'm being told it is all in my head and nothing but an excuse to ignore someone....i wish that is all this was.......at least i would get to remain a somewhat normal adult.......T_T |
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