Cheating?

03/16/2009

I hate people.


For the past few days...everyone pisses me off. EVERYONE.

I am a paranoid person. DUH. Anyone who actually knows me...knows that! And the way Melissa has been acting lately makes me paranoid!!!

She barely kisses me. Let alone...personal things. She doesn't text me from work anymore. Which, I know, she's working, but she used to text me ALL the time, no matter what!! And she's all about these two girls at work. I used to work there, so I know these 2 girls. They are whores. They'll sleep with anyone, and they DO NOT care if that person is in a relationship or not. If they want it, they try their hardest to get it!!!
I want to trust Melissa, but with the way she's been acting...it's really hard. I've been cheated on in the past. I don't want to be hurt again!!!!!

Also- these girls used to be my "friends". But once I stopped working there, they won't talk to me anymore. I try. I text them. They tell Melissa that they didn't get my text. WTF?? Everyone else gets my texts. So it's just them? Bullshit. They get them. They ignore them.

But Melissa...OF COURSE....takes up for them!!!!
It's never about my feelings. You know, I used to be good at making friends. I had a lot of them. But for the past few years, it's been hell. I think people are my friends, and then...they're gone. Melissa doesn't have that problem...so she doesn't understand. I feel alone. Sometimes even when I'm with her. I try to explain it, over and over. But all I get is.... "Here we go again!" or "OH, You're gonna play that card again!" And that hurts. I can never have real feelings. I'm always playing a card or a game. And if I cry..... God forbid!! Then I'm just trying to get my way!!

Don't get me wrong you guys! She's a good woman. It's just here lately. I really feel like she's cheating. She swears she's not!! But deep down I just can't believe that right now.

I need to stop this entry. I've gotta pick her up in a little while and I don't want to be crying when I do.







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