Everything I can't say to you...

05/16/2009

Everything I can't say to you...
(Each topic is a different person)
1. I wish you hadn't told me all the things you did. That night at the hotel, you were scared because you had just found out you were going to Afghanistan. That night you told me stories about Iraq, things that haunt you everyday. I know you regret some of the things you did, but you shouldn't. You told me you wanted me to know these things, because you wanted me to know what I was getting into with you. You thought telling me would make me look at you different, make me run the other direction. But it didn't, it does however make me worry about you all the time. Every day I don't hear from you, I worry about you, and the place you are, and the things you have to do over there. Its been 9 days since I heard from you last, that's the longest its been. I can't tell you how much I worry about you, because that will just make things harder for you. Your biggest fear when you left was how your deployment would affect your family and the people close to you. I don't want you to worry about me, when the only thing you should worry about is getting home safe. But I miss you, and its getting really hard to keep my head up, and smile, and sound cheerful in my letters to you.
2. You need to grow up. He loves you, and you keep pushing him away, because your parents don't like him. He made mistakes in the past, he doesn't pretend those things didn't happen. This last year he has busted his ass trying to make it up to you. He proposed to you, because he wants to spend the rest of his life with you. Your parents only see the mistakes he's made, because you don't try to show them how he's changed. They love you more than anything, and don't want to see you get hurt again, that's why they don't like him. If you spent 5 seconds showing them how he's made things up to you, they would hate him just a little less, and maybe eventually they would stop hating him. But instead of trying, you gave up. You had a plane ticket to go see him. Do you know how badly he wanted to see you? You didn't get on the plane. Because of your parents. Do you really want to give up the love of your life without a fight?
3. You're a damn idiot! If you wanted to join the marines, because its something you've always wanted to do, or because you feel its something you need to do, I would respect that. But you're giving up, you're running away. You've worked so hard to lose weight so you can join, but the last ten pounds turned in you into an idiot. You didn't eat or drink ANYTHING the two days before you weighed in. As soon as you eat again, the weight is going to come back and you'll have to lose it again. If you were doing this for the right reasons, you would be losing the weight the right way. You can't lose that kind of weight over night, you have to eat healthier, and exercise, NOT starve yourself. You're not the same person you were before this whole thing. I used to love hanging out with you, because you were fun, and goofy. But now, you're practically anorexic, pissed off all the time, and in a testosterone driven rage! You've changed so much these last couple months. I'm afraid I won't even know you when you get out of bootcamp...
Yea... *sigh*