Some of this may sound cheesy and stupid. But it's my right to want..Need..Feel..Desire..And since I'll never have any of it anyways..Please don't hold it against me.
I wanted to go on a road trip to California with her.
I wanted to make a positive difference in at least one persons life to the point where they said..'Wow this girl is amazing.' I wanted someone to need me desperately and consistently.
I wanted to hear my son say 'I love you mommy'. I wanted to move to Michigan. I wanted to win back the heart of and get married to the girl that I am in love with and have a family and life with her. I would have waited forever..
I wanted to go to the places in the world that I haven't seen as of yet. I wanted to go scuba diving in Alaska like I was supposed to years and years ago. I wanted to swim in the ocean again. I wanted to have another baby. A girl this time. I wanted to know love on a daily basis, in person. I wanted to sleep next to the one that I love and hold her every night and wake up seeing her face. I wanted to be happy for more than a little while at a time. I wanted to know what it felt like to not despise myself and feel guilty for more than a few minutes at a time. I wanted to go exploring in underwater caves. I wanted to go to the bottom of the ocean. I wanted to go on a cruise. I wanted to face my fears and my demons. I wanted to travel for fun. I wanted to finish school and do something to help people who've been where I have been.
Idk. That's about it really. I just..God. Now Im crying. Forget it. I'm stupid. |
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