I breathe in, I breathe out so sick of holding it down. Its okay, Im alright even though Im dying inside. First 14 years of my life was chaotic and trauma causing. Idk if ppl know what SRA is but yeah 14 years of torture. When I was 16 I finally left after both parents abandoned me and dad went to his gf and Mom went to her friends for 2 months to give him an ultimatim. My ''' godmother ''' asked me to come live with her and her husband, to have a ' safe ' placec to stay. I was the most nieve sweet blond haired girl youd ever meet. Found out rather quickly my perps made sure that the abuse would continue for the next 11 years her husband sexually propositioned and hurt me. He truly believes that anything other than vaginal penetration is not cheating. And He says he just asks God to forgive Him and its like it never happened in his head. He had me to things with 2 girls and one of them is on here, and I wont out her, but he paid us, I am so ashamed. But I had nowhere else to go. And its a long story but for reasons I wont go into, I literally got stuck there. So it kept going and I got into drugs and all kinds of shit, I felt all my life like I was worthless and created only to be used by men and even some women. This is such a condensed version of what is going on. For 15 years I ran away from this situation. And frankly, I had been taught that Jesus Christ was my savior if I wanted Him to be and I cried out and called His name every time they hurt me. And about that time I re found my abilities. Everyone that was around me every day knew that bizarre things happened around me and they conditioned me to think its ok cuz its just Trish, weird things are gonna happen. So I had a safe place. Right in the lions den. I learned how to use my abilities. Starting making things happen. Kept getting told all of my life that I was evil, a witch, my own mother called me an ABOMINATION to my face because of my love for women. They will never understand, I never asked for this to be like this. And no so called deliverance is gonna change that. They fucked me up royally. Metaphorically and literally.
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