I Am Not A Stranger. No I Am Yours.

02/22/2009

I can't do this anymore

It hurts too much.

It hurts just to breathe.

Just to breathe in it kills me. Hurts me so bad.

I don't know what to do.

I just want her back.

I can't do this anymore.

I'm crying so badly right now.

Omg.

And, Helena..

We were in this hotel room with complete strangers fucking them for DRUGS because at that time, I didn't have any money anymore.

And, we were right beside each other on the bed..And, she was holding my hand so tight. While this was happening. While we were getting fucked, ha. At the exactly fucking same time no less.

And, then we were in so much other shit together.

I am waiting to see if she accepts my friend request on MySpace.

And, talks to me.

And, lets me call her.

I am so sad.

I have missed her so much.

I really did love her so much.

I think that I even was with my ex girlfriend Svetlana because she remided me of Helena.

And, she never really did know just exactly how I do realyl feel about her, and, or, anything.

I thought that she was dead.

Oh my god, what have I become?

I do not want to be afraid.

I don't want to die inside just to breathe in.

I'm tired of feeling so numb.

And, the only anesthetic that makes me feel anything other than pain, kills inside.

I'm not a stranger. No, I am yours.

Crippled anger.

And, tears that still drip sore.

Relief exists I've found it when..I was cut.