I am sending this to the girl that I love today. She does love me but she's left me for her ex again for the 7th time. I am going to marry this girl someday. I doubt any of you will actually read all of this but I needed to put it down somewhere before I sent it.
I need to tell you something. First I'm sorry again for the nights that I was too drunk and shit happened that was my fault. You have no idea how sorry I am for that. I've been feeling so confused and sad lately cuz of everything that's happened that I forgot who I am. But I'm remembering now and there's something that I need to say to you.
You are an amazing girl. You captured my heart so easily and I fell in love with you. And somehow miraculously you loved me too. I meant it when I said that you're my dream girl. And even if we don't have our real life fairy tale, it's always going to be in my heart along with you. Which brings me to the first thing that I want to say.
You have these walls up K. But I know that I got past them. Probably without you even knowing it at first. I remember talking to you about it one night and I warned you that I could do that. Idk if you didn't believe me or you just forgot all about it.
But either way I saw into your heart and soul and the thing that you need to know is that it is not a revolving door. There is an in door but no exit door. I want you to know that you don't have to waste your energy on walling me out. I am already in and I bet that's scary. But I would never hurt you on purpose. You're like a jewel to me, a precious diamond. I see the good and the bad as I'm sure you do with me.
And secondly. You can try all you want to push me away K but I swear on my life that I will not be pushed away, I'm not leaving you. I'm not abandoning you, I'm not leaving your life, I'm not like other people. You have no idea how much I care about you apparently. Unless you could see into my eyes like I did yours because then you'd know how wonderful you are and how precious you are to me.
And lastly. You already know how I feel and what I think about myself. I don't really like myself that much most of the time and I've been told that I'm nothing and stupid all of my life and I kinda feel that way a lot of the time. But I want you to know irregardless of that..I may not be much. I may not even be special. But you will never..Ever..Find someone on this Earth who loves you like I do. Unconditional no holds barred doesn't matter what you do love. And I know that you don't wanna be tied down, and or commited. I know all of this. I'm just telling you that I'm not going away. I'm not going anywhere. And even if you never see me again the way that you did..What I told you before stands..I'm not giving up on us. I will always be here waiting for you with my hand held open for yours..All you have to do is turn around and take it. And that promise is longer than now. I wont use the 'F' word and no not fuck lol. But I mean that. Because you are worth so much more than I could ever put into words. And until you realize that or even if you never do. I'm gonna stay and be your friend and be there for you until the last breath escapes my lips. So if you wanna keep trying to wall out the person who's already inside..That's on you. But you don't have to. Ttyl babe. Yes I said babe. I can't think of anything else to call you and hun is about to make me throw up. So call me when you want to talk to me okay? xo |
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