I still have your briefcase of money.

01/01/2014

1. I still have your briefcase of money. I havent touched it and wont cuz I made you a promise so itll be here till doomsday if you dont tell me where to meet you to bring it. Just message me on my real account cuz this one I just made to send you t hi and I will never be back on it. No strings attached this money is y ours. 2. I wrote you a whole email that was huge and told you how I was gonna let you go and that I was sorry and blah blah and then deleted it because I realized that it was a lie. My pride is about to go out the window with this message so take it or leave it at least I will be free. You used to tel me about fighting with your heart and your head and how hard it was and I knew you used girls to get what you want but with me it was different. NO MATTER what you say now I know that you loved me and you never meant to. But then when we met and you saw that I used to get stupid drunk it basically gave you the out that you were looking for to run away. You told me the night tha tyou wrote me that song that you always run away from t he things that were good for you and this time you didnt want to run away. So you can tell me how worthless I am and how you want me to die and kill myself and that you never loved me but I am going to remind you that you usually are a scared girl who runs from the things that will potentially be good for you. And I know that you are with Jonelle now and that you say that you are happy and I respct that. But I am not going to go out of my mind without you iknowing that I still love you. And I am no lnger a drunk who cant take her alcohol and acts stupid on it. I have grown up into a beautiful RESPONSIBLE woman who knows what she wants. And I may have recently lost my grip on reality but I do still know two things. I love my son and I love you. And I remember telling you once that if it took till I was 90 I would be here for when ever you stopped running away. And I originally wrote y ou a long assed email telling you that I was giving up and telling you goodbye but I have since realized that that would make me the one thing that I AM NOT these days and that is a liar. I am brutally honest these days. I wont make this a novel Kris but I want you to know two things. 1. I no longer need your approval. I am independant and have my own house and money and life. 2. I love you. And those two things will never ever change. And I need you to know that it hurts me to be without you in my life. Its been 2 years since we broke up. I mean seriously can we not find a way to be friends? I care for you so much and despite me trying to kill it that will never go away. And I cant help but to think t hat we met for a reason because I do not feel this strongly about people for no reason Kris. Just think about it. You are worth it. And so am I. And I am willing to be your friend and you know that I would aways have ur back and I am tired of telling you that its okay for you to be a dick when its not. You have every right to tell me that you do not want me in your life but just make sure that its for the right reasons Kristina Irene. And not because of fear. Because fear is crippling and gives y ou an easy way out. Trust me I know. Ill be here if you want to talk. I just had to get this shit off of my chest because it was weighing down on me. I love you. Talk to me on my Trish Munoz account if you decide to be the person that I know you really are. Because she is beautiful. Ttyl. xxoo