Today, my life came crashing down on top of me once again. I had a real good look inside of me and I fear what I am becoming almost as much as I fear you. I can’t do this alone. Therefore I will not do it. But, yet if I refuse to do it that means that I have admitted defeat. I can’t do that, either. I love. So much. And, I’ve fucked up every single last person that I have ever been with. I would rather be dead than to stop loving.
There is another option. I haven’t used dark magic since..Well a long time ago. I..I CAN’T LET MYSELF SINK SO LOW AS TO GET ON HER LEVEL. They have all hurt me really. Even now. My one ex girlfriend has a girlfriend. The other exgirlfriend doesn’t give a shit. The other exgirlfriend never did. And, now..NOW THIS. Godamnit how much am I supposed to take. Am I supposed to just start letting my emotions of hate take over my body, mind, soul, and, spirit? Or do I keep loving..Keep loving those who never will love me again. Keep loving and bleeding inside..IT JUST NEVER STOPS.
I can’t…Oh my god. I can’t let myself give in to hate. To the bitch inside. The Vampire that would kill. The monster within. I have seen what Aria can do. I am just..Trish. That’s what I want to be. BUT SHE MADE ME BRING IT OUT. Fuck you. FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU. Oh wait..I ALREADY DID HAHAHAHHAA.
God. Kill me will ya?
As someone said:
Look im fallen from grace so fuck me already.
Im done. LATER |
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