I started crying randomly at work the other day, which I never do, and when my coworkers asked me why I told them it was because my father has bone cancer and with all the complications it seems like he's dying very slowly. All that is true, but that was not the reason I was crying. I was crying because I had just had a fight with my boyfriend, and I didn't want them to see me get so upset about something so ridiculous.
My father and I are very close, yet the only time I cry about what is happening to him is when I hear a 'daddy' song on the radio, or find myself thanking God that I don't want to get married anymore because he might not be there to walk me down the aisle. I don't think it's because I'm selfish or something (even though I feel like it sometimes), it's just that I don't think the whole situation has actually sunk in yet. I hear about it every day, but I don't think I ever LISTEN. I guess I don't fully believe it yet, and probably won't until it's too late.
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