I sometimes self medicate my social anxiety with alcohol. It's one thing when I go to an event where there is alcohol and it helps calm me down, but I've started drinking alcohol before leaving the house for an event that makes me nervous.
I'm scared it will turn into a regular thing, and I won't be able to function without it.
Been there, done that. It got to the point where my boss would say something to upset me at work and on lunch I'd come home and drain half a bottle of whiskey before going back to work. Breath mints and gum became my best friends.
Please, please, please talk to someone before you fall into the bottle. It's not a good place to be. When you're there staring down the neck of the bottle and downing it before you leave the house, you'll find any little excuse to get that bit of liquid courage in you.
I caught myself in the bottle. It wasn't easy. I was confronted afew times and didn't take anyone's word. I had to realize on my own. It was when I saw a friend after a while I realized I haven't seen her whilst I was sober in a while.