My friend is going through a messy divorce and custody battle for her three-year old. I see her little girl acting up with everything going on around her and I want to hug her, because I know that as young as she is, she's getting wounds that will never heal. My parents divorced when I was her age and as much as people always say it's better for the kids, I wish they had stayed together through all the fighting. Maybe then I wouldn't seek love from men who want nothing but to use me and drop me. I see my friend's daughter and I see myself. So sad.
I dunno. My parents got divorced when I was 3, and I'd say I have a pretty healthy love life, for the most part. I think there comes an age where you can't blame your past anymore, and just accept that you're responsible for your choices in men.
I second this. My parents split when I was 2, almost 3. I never slept around (even tho it's cool for guys to do that, for some reason), never had an unhealthy relationship and am now Married with a 2 year old son myself. You are not your past, and you definitely are not the people of your past. We are ourselves. and we choose the outcome of our own lives. Kudos.
It doesn't matter what age they divorce at its your mother who lets him treat her that way that makes you feel the way you do. If your mother stands up for herself and shows you that you are independent and don't need love from a man to be you then you will be a fine adult. I know the feeling you have I accept it and moved on. My parents divorced when I was 17. It was just my dad treated her like shit and now I need man love.
you don't really want to stay together for the kids if you can't stop the fighting. it's all well and good for mature people. that being said people can divorce without ugliness. it's the fighting and pettiness that traumatises kids. the separation plays a part but i know, but the fact that people tend to be vicious when hurt is what fucks people up.
I was 5 when my parents divorced and 9 when my dad stopped seeing me (21 years ago) and I married a man who loves me and cares about me and treats me like a princess. I think you're using your parents divorce as a crutch. I agree with birrrdy.
My parents stayed together "for the children". Let me just say that growing up in that environment is unhealthy and THAT had an impact on my love life because it was difficult for me to take relationships, marriage, and men seriously. It was difficult because I was SO afraid of ending up in a relationship like my parents.
What I'm trying to say is, I don't think the divorce is the issue here. I think maybe the absence of your dad or a strong male figure in your life is the problem and your using the divorce as an excuse.
If you're seeking love in the wrong places and getting treated less than you deserve, then you're just damaging yourself further. Maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea to get some therapy?
A bad childhood can have an effect on how you see yourself and the world around you. For years I blamed my childhood for the mistakes that I made. Then I realised that nobody could change me but myself. Life isn't supposed to be an easy ride and I don't know many people who have had the 'perfect' childhood. You have to find some way of leaving the past where it belongs and looking forward with a more positive outlook. You might be surprised at just how easy it is...
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seems like instead of feeling bad for her, just be there for her mom & her. Maybe you can keep her from feeling the way you do.
It doesn't matter what age they divorce at its your mother who lets him treat her that way that makes you feel the way you do. If your mother stands up for herself and shows you that you are independent and don't need love from a man to be you then you will be a fine adult. I know the feeling you have I accept it and moved on. My parents divorced when I was 17. It was just my dad treated her like shit and now I need man love.
I was 5 when my parents divorced and 9 when my dad stopped seeing me (21 years ago) and I married a man who loves me and cares about me and treats me like a princess. I think you're using your parents divorce as a crutch. I agree with birrrdy.
My parents were divorced when I was 7...It didn't really affect me much, there are much bigger things in life to worry about.
