Every time I hear from either of my parents I want to hide.
I have the thought "how much do they want now?!".
And thoughts like "how bad is s/he going to hurt me this time?".
I wish you the best of luck. I know that feeling with my biological father & other members of my family. Hopefully things start to turn around for you.
I know the feeling. I am estranged from my family of origin. They are incredibly toxic people. Sometimes when it comes to relationships like that.. it's best to cut your losses and look at what you have that is truly wonderful than it is to sit and suffer in a relationship that's eating you alive.