I've got a perfect life. 8-5 job, gorgeous children, loving spouse...we're the perfect little cookie cutter all-American family. My life is /perfect/. I want for nothing, my husband adores me, my children are well behaved and make good grades....I can't think of a thing that would make any of it any better.
I don't know why, but I fell into an affair. He's the polar opposite of my husband. Almost 20 years older then me (but sooo doesn't look it), spent time in prison (armed robbery - 2 counts, tattoos, piercings....A bad boy to the core. But, because of him, I almost look forward now to my husband's business trips, because it means he can stay and hold me all night, we can wake up in the morning together. It totally started out just as sex, but now, I'm completely smitten with him. And I know he is too. I keep using my marriage as an excuse not to make anything "offical" of it, but it is to the point that I am almost tempted to leave my husband. Which is, by the way, insane. He's an amazing man - he's no longer any danger, this I a quite assure of. But he's got two felonies on his record!
I've got a perfect life, why did I fall into this with him? And how do I get my life back? The idea of just cutting him out of my life...honestly hurts less then the idea of losing my marriage. And I know if my husband found out (which I am sure he eventally will) that shit would hit the fan. But it's my lover I want, not my husband. But my husband offers ultimate security.
With my husband, I can continue living my dream life. With my lover, I can feel like life is a dream. |