I have reached the end of my rope. I have tried everything in my power to change the way my mind thinks but I have been dwelling more and more of my thoughts of just going to sleep and making sure that I do not wake up. I know most will say that is the cowards way out. No I think it is the quietest way out. Just go to sleep. I have had many battles over the last several years and I think I have reached the end of my fight.
I just cannot do this anymore I do not feel loved, I want something very simple just to feel loved. To know that all I pour into others would come back to me in even the smallest form. Is it that I am unable to be loved, am I unloveable??
I feel the same way, and I found out that it makes me feel better to just put all of my time and attention and care into working. That way I won't have to think about being alone for the rest of my life and not having any friends or people to love me.
I won't even notice it if I'm working.
Just take a bit of time and throw yourself into work or into a hobby, something that can take up all of your time, and you will find that life goes quicker.
And - when you work, you realize that it doesn't let you down or reject you like everyone else will in your life.
It will always be there for you.
Your work will love you back by giving you a sense of accomplishment and reward.
<3 Sarah
You seem perfectly fine, I don't see why you would even suggest you are unlovable. Why don't you try pouring this energy into helping people who are in this same situation? You might find it more rewarding, and you can meet other people who have been where you are and learn from each other
Wow, I feel like I could have written the same thing.
Just know that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Honest to God, I have had my fair share of problems that most people would have thrown their hands up in the air and given up, but I continued to fight through them. Keep fighting for your happiness.
I also feel I could have written this. But you know what I see? Hope.
"This too shall pass" comes to mind. You'll find moments that make you feel as if you'll never recover and it would be easier to just go away, but things ALWAYS get better. You just have to live life and give a little, and you'll get so much in return.
As for the unloveable part, I often feel I'm good for being used but that no one wants to be with me forever. I don't know if that's what you mean, but that's how I feel and although it crosses my mind often, I realize it's my devil on my shoulder creeping in and making me feel useless. He wants me to fail, to hurt, to die. But I keep on living and hoping "one day my prince will come". And I know I will be loved.
Somone loves you. Someone cares about you. You're worth the life you live. So live it!
A tough thing to feel.
And there are many forms of love and acceptance.
what once worked for me ,was to go volunteer ...
also missions work. Not saying you have to be godly or 'christian'. There are many forms of mission work. I knew a lady who her only job was to rock sick babies in a rocking chair.
Also on a spiritual side, seek out love and acceptance of a higher power that is all encompassing.
Death is never the solution. It's a deception. A lie , to get you to fold and throw it all in for eternity.
The help of antidepressants can spring board you into a more acceptable place as well. There's no shame in reaching out for it love.
Sometimes when we get depressed and lonely and feel unloved, it is just the tip of the ice berg. There are bigger issues looming below that need dealt with . You might need to tweek your view of things you were previously hell bent on believing to see it another way and change some stuff thats not working for you in life.
Often , we think that none loves us and have ourselves totally convinced it is true. Take a closer look. even those in disagreement with you can be taken as if they dont love you when really they do. Be careful with their hearts too honey.
Love, even in the smallest form can be overlooked. <3
HUgs
it will get better,
just remember this:
God will never give you anything that you cannot handle,
and your perserverance will be rewarded.
He loves you, and i'm sure countless others do too.
they're just not always the best at showing it, unfortunately.
keep your chin up.
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Wow, I feel like I could have written the same thing. 
You may not feel loved but there are people that love you - always remember that (: