If only

Maybe people should stop using derogatory terms in general. Words do hurt.

imaginary ordinary

This is most likely coming from someone who was never berated with hateful words growing up. I bet it's easy to say that shit when you've been privileged with not being gay, or black, or handicapped.

Anonymous Source

Actually, this probably come from someone who has been berated or belittled or what have you by hateful words growing up. The only people who grow backbones about such comments are usually people who have been through it. No one technically should use these type of derogatory words. However, these words are only derogatory because we have made them that way.

So if someone has been berated and bullied, that means they should have grown a backbone in the process? Where'd THAT logic come from?

Anonymous Source

Uh... yeah. Clearly you've never been discriminated against. Go get the shit beaten out of you for being gay, bi, or trans. It's easy to tell us to grow a backbone when you've lived in privilege and haven't ever faced that kind of adversity. I suggest YOU grow up.

I was bullied as a kid and I use words like this as an adult. Then again so do most people I know. But don't suggest that people who had a shit time growing up shouldn't use such words.

Acid Fairy

i heard some awesome derogatory terms today that describe you:

'that's so redmond'
'that's so yuppy'
'you are renting a bellevue mobile'
'your'e a fucking ignorant asshole who is still being hand-fed kobe beef and doesn't realize that they have to, unfortunately, share this earth with other people.'

oh.. sorry that last one was kinda derogatory. well, no matter. you have a backbone so you won't find it that insulting.

LN

... I wanna be hand-fed kobe beef...

kein mitleid

I actually agree. 'Equal' means 'equal' and no one gives a damn when you insult a straight white person. But make it a FEMALE, or an African American, of homosexual and the sh*t hits the fan. I really do hate liberals. I don't have a problem with anyone, nor do I insult anyone. If I hear someone giving another person a hard time, I stand up for them. But when they start drama and act like cry babies, I lose respect

Hey I'm a liberal and I don't give a shit if anyone insults anyone else.

Acid Fairy

The funny thing is, I kind of consider myself a liberal as well. I've been called a liberal by others. But I also believe that there are two types of liberals- The ones that just believe that every has rights that they are equally entitled to, and then the ones that act like babies and try to take all of our rights away because heaven forbid we might hurt ourselves. Thankfully, you seem to be of the first group. However, the term 'liberal' has recently become more popularly associated with the second group, hence why I shy away from using it to describe myself on a regular basis

Oh I see! I think the second group is sometimes called 'libertarians' and yeah, they are assholes!

Acid Fairy

The second group is not libertarians.... Libertarians never try to take rights away, their main purpose is to maximize liberty of the individual, i.e. only wishing to keep laws which protect one from another, in other words, enforce negative rights.

kein mitleid

I call everything gay. It's a great word.

Acid Fairy

No. Just no.

No? I'm not going to lie, everyone my age says it where I live. It has no connection to when people use the word to mean homosexual. OH MY GOD, can't we use words with double meanings any more?
Shit, that's gay.

Acid Fairy

No, we can't. It's like calling someone a nigger or a spic. It's the same fucking thing. I wonder when people are going to grow up and figure that out.

Ok then. Obviously Americans and Brits view these words differently. I've never come across any Brit who doesn't like it.
And what is a 'spic'?

Acid Fairy

I had no idea you were British! Ha! That changes quite a bit. A spic is a slur for (typically, though it encompasses other Spanish-speaking people) Mexicans.

We do view those words differently... I don't know how chai comes off thinking "gay" is equivalent to "nigger" but not around here. Maybe "faggot," but not "gay."

kein mitleid

That's not exactly true. I've heard people here call their black friends nigger and the black kids laugh about it. I've also heard people be called spics and they laugh about it.

My high school and where I grew up, there's not many terms that are considered offensive. Gay, Kike, Spic, Nigger - they're all just words and they only have the impact on you that you let them have.

Someone could call me a dirty slav and I'd laugh at it.

Jessica

We do that at work. I work with a Jewish kid, and several people from the general area of India (I can never remember the name of the country). The men make derogatory remarks to the women, the women to the men... No one's ethnic background or religion is safe, and as far as we're concerned- Each one of us is gay (more colorful language is used, as you can imagine...) That is why I LOVE my job. Because we're all friends, and all equals. Never mind this 'I'm more equal than you' crap. None of us have a problem with it. But you bet your ass that when management overheard it, they pulled us all in the office to talk about how much it offended THEM... Yeah. We still do it.

Exactly, thats how we are. No one cares because we are who we are.

Like honestly my best friend will tell me (usually in response to something I've said) "Oh yeah? Well you're a dirty whore. Shut the hell up." and we'll laugh about it.

Jessica

It's just different. I'm sorry, but I wouldn't want some cisgender, heterosexual dude or chick calling me a fucking faggot tranny. Words are still destructive, even if people devalue them. It's too bad, too. The world would be a better place if people could figure that out.

Words are only destructive if the person lets them be. I've been called almost every name in the book, and I've only ever been upset about something because I LET myself be upset.

If someone wants to come up to me and call me some "derogatory" term, then they can do that. I'm damn proud of who I am, and if someone wants to ridicule me for that, it's their problem.

Especially if someone is going out of their way to be hateful? I'd honestly feel bad for that person, because they obviously have nothing in their life if they feel the need to insult someone else.

Jessica

Oh, absolutely. You feel bad for the person who is using those terms in a derogatory way, but for some people, they aren't just words. People need to be more empathetic and less cruel. That's what it boils down to.

Yes, you can say that. But in the same breath you could also say that people need to be less sensitive to what others think and say.

I say that, because I know it's something that I need to work on. I don't expect anyone to be more empathetic or less cruel to me, you can't change the world. But you can change yourself. And if something bothers you, start with what you can fix.

Jessica

I'm not asking people to change. I've never done that. But on the whole, people need to be better to each other. That's all I'm saying. And no, just because other people insist on using language that is derogatory in nature, I'm not going to change who I am just to benefit them when they're doing something shitty to begin with. That only perpetuates the belief that it's okay to say anything to anyone without recourse... and it's not.

ok sunshine, walking up to someone and calling them a faggot (which is horrible) and saying that something is gay (as stupid) is not nearly the same thing.

I'm bi, i've been called a dyke, and a fag and every name under the sun.... does it mean that when someone walks past me and says "oh that show was gay" that i think they're bad mouthing ME and i should be offended? no.

I say "thats gay" all the time.... and im not hating on myself or any of the 100% gay girlfriends that i've had...seriously.

do you feel the same way about the word "retarded"?

+*_Zombeh_Brainz_*+

That doesn't make it okay. Your friends would be at fault if there were to use those words on someone who would be genuinely offended. Sure, it may be cool in your circle of friends, but that doesn't mean that it shouldn't be considered offensive to real victims of racism and prejudice.

And I mean racism that leads to violence.

Anonymous Source

I think people are too sensitive. That entire b.s about " unless you've been beaten up for being gay, bi, or trans" is old. Everyone gets picked on for something. Everyone dislikes someone for some reason. That's like saying "I can't use the word cool because some people are cold and it's offensive to them."

If you're being beaten up for being gay, go to the cops. Don't bitch, get the fuckers arrested for beating the shit out of you. Yay for hate crimes. Someone commits them and they go to jail for a long time. Or you can feel bad about yourself. I guess that works too. Probably not as satisfying as punishing those who deserve it but whatever.

Emily the Strange

several of my gay friends call things "gay" when something lame or annoying happens. what does that make them? self hating gays?

it's just a word. the context is important. calling something lame "gay" is one thing. having something in a negative, angry way calling you gay is another.

& skull.