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What's your secret?
by BloopSecrets

previous entry: I don't feel sexy

next entry: Dying

I'll never forget you

06/20/2010

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I went on vacation with my husband. Well, he's here on business and I came to visit. The thing about where we are is that I have an ex boyfriend that lived here. And I've tried to get a hold of him to see him, since I haven't heard anything from him since before the wedding beginning of last year (him telling me that due to family issues, he wouldn't be able to make it). So today I've been pretty desperately to find him. And I'm getting no where.

Though we had a 16 year age difference, we had had a good relationship. He was my best friend, then boyfriend and then things ended. I ended it because I was 19 and he wanted marriage and kids and I wasn't ready for that. So I've been trying to figure out why I've been so desperate to find him. And then it hit me; I'm still in love with him. Even though it's been 5 years...I still love him. I would give almost anything to be able to get a hold of him and see him. Don't get me wrong, I love my husband. But I guess it's true; first loves never die.

G, I pray that you're ok and that someday I'll be able to talk to you again.

D, you're my husband and I love you completely, but I can never tell you that I still love G, because that would hurt your fragile heart.

I have always been able to tell my husband everything, but this is one thing I can't share with him. God, it's so hard to keep this to myself.

previous entry: I don't feel sexy

next entry: Dying

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I have been with my husband for 8 years, 3 of which we've been married. He is my everything. I still think about my ex, though. My husband knows, and understands. Randy was my first love. There is a part of me that will always care about him.

--

[Love, RebekahStar|0 likes] [|reply]

As the previous commenter pointed out without saying, this is completely normal. Especially if this person is your first love. I've been with my now husband for 5 years (married for 2 of them), and my ex before him randomly came into my work a couple of weeks ago and it was like I had the wind knocked out of me. I love my husband wholly and completely and would never, ever dream of leaving him. I might always remember the love I had for him and never truly be able to get over it, but it isn't enough. I love my husband more. You just have to remember that.

♥ -

[Lauren.Star|0 likes] [|reply]

I am going through something similar myself but I try to bring myself back down to Earth when I stray too far with my thoughts because I know I will only make myself sadder and I am not really being realistic. *sigh* Like they say, you will never forget your first love.

[Butterflys don't lie|0 likes] [|reply]

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