Sometimes I look at my mother and am complete disgusted by her. The way she looks, the way she dresses, her fake personality. I hate that I judge her so much, because she is probably the only person on earth who loves me unconditionally and would do anything for me. I am grateful for what she has done for me, but sometimes I wish she would grow up and take better care of herself. I wish she would quit smoking weed and cigarettes, having tequila every night, and start exercising.
I am scared my child will grow up to be just as disgusted by me as I am of my mother. |
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Geeze, I could have written this entry!
Yeah... i feel a similar way about my mother.
჻ೋ჻ The wonderful thing is that you have a choice, you can either choose to repeat her unhealthy patterns or be the opposite of what she is. My mother is nuts, a hypochondriac and pathological liar, as well as an awful parent. I haven't spoken to her in 4 years. I am nothing like her. I take care of myself. I hate being sick or saying I'm sick, and I am completely blunt and honest no matter what. I love my daughter and although I'm not a perfect parent (no one is), I am 100 times better than my mother. I made a choice, that I would not let her life affect how I raise my child. My daughter turns 4 next month and daily I prove I am nothing like her, and my daughter loves me! 
There's hope! ჻ೋ჻
