Ever since I lost my pregnancy, I've been punishing myself in subtle ways. I still count how many months pregnant I would be. I walk down the baby clothing aisle and try not to cry. I have a small box of baby clothes that I've bought. My husband doesn't know. I don't know how to tell him that I'm nesting for a baby that won't come. I feel ashamed and guilty. Most of all, I feel like I deserve it. |