I first started having sex when I was 17 about to be 18...I'm 19 and i've had sex with over 25 sexual partners. I don't have an std of yet, and even being in a relationship i'll still sleep around, be it a new sexual partner or an old. I just can't help myself. It's like I just can't stop. Expcially on those nights I'm feeling the urge and someone calls me up and asks for it...i just say no...shame, yes, but I don't care. I'm not ashamed of it(altough I know I should be) it had gotten so bad that I slept with my bestfriend's ex...yeah I felt lousy but that didn't stop me from sleeping with that person...then turning around and sleeping with that person's cousin...disgusting? yup...shameful even...but alas, I don't give a rat's poop. Its like everything comes down to those sweaty moments...when our bodies are touching and when it's all done I just wanna leave. I wonder to myself "WTF, another promise broken" but come the next phone call another day I'm right back at it. I've had sex on bathroom floors, behind houses, in cars ( a mini van once lol), and so many other places. If the sex is good I might keep the same sexual partner for an average of 3 months or so...but as soon as something better comes along or i've been dissatisfied in any kind of way, the old person is getting the boot.. Where is my damn mind, because I must have lost it. Shame is a stranger to me...
Most of the time I use a fake name, so my true identity won't be smeared. If asked my last name I give a fake as well. Your probably thinking I'm a horrible person, but I really don't care. I feel like this "I use protection. So let me do as i like. I get STD screenings every 3 months and if i am to ever get an STD I will let my partner know ahead of time"
And speaking of which...I just got a text...back to the shameless ritual. |