Why do you think I only come home once a month and only for a few days? It's because I hate the way you live your life. I hate everything about it. I hate going home for holidays because everything about us is so vastly different. I can never eat when I'm home because all you eat and drink is junk food and I have better respect for my body then to put poison like that in it. So please don't act offended when I bring my own food. Because if I didn't I would either starve or be sick. You sit for hours watching mind numbing television and I haven't turned on a TV for years and yes, I on purposely bring massive amounts of homework so I DON'T have to watch your stupid sitcoms. You are always constantly in debt because you won't manage your money and I have a panic attack if I don't have a minimum of 6 months income readily available. You constantly criticize everything about my life. My hair, my clothes, my beliefs, my decisions. You are constantly yelling and screaming a
t each other and having arguments and I can't stand it.
Three days once a month is all I can tolerate, and barely at that. The only reason I go that often is because I know you would guilt trip me so hard core if I didn't. No matter how much I can't stand your lifestyle, you're my family and I love spending time with you, when I don't have to compete with the damn TV.
I have no idea how to tell you that I'm never coming back. I'll visit, but I'm never going to permanently come back. Ever. Every time you tell me "baby girl, I can't wait until you are done with school and you can come back home," I just want to look at you with the most profound sense of disbelief and ask you if you seriously think I would come back to THIS. But I never do because I know it will hurt you.
I love you dearly and I can't imagine my life with out you. I just hate your life. It makes me so depressed when I'm there and makes me realize how much I love my life with my crappy hair, hippie clothes, weird opinions, shocking beliefs and all. |
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