My Wife of 10 years, whom I met online, has been a member of this site for many many many years.
I wanted to join her community of people, thinking it would be a good way to share and express and help other people. And when I started reading her entries, I realized they were mostly complaining about me. I read back a few entries and found one entitled "confessions of a cheater" and found out for the last 4 years she had been sleeping with a friend. The last time she went to go see him, I thought it was weird. She went all the way out there to "have coffee" with him... an hour trip... stay an hour, and then come back. So I asked her later that day if she was sleeping around. She told me no. So 3 months later and I'm reading the entry she posted probably 15min after I had asked her about it. and she's going on about how it was the best sex she ever had and she was going to go to him whenever she wanted "Happy fun time"
So... the Question is... Why did I forgive her?
Sometimes it nags at me... when we first got together, we were eachother's firsts... she's still the only person I've ever been with... I'm confused with how I feel about the fact that she's been with someone else... still even now... and it's been almost a year since I found out...
She insists I should find someone else to play with as well... partly to even it out, partly because she really enjoyed having someone different. She swears she's over it and won't do it ever again. And I think I believe her, but part of me keeps whispering that little saying in the back of my head... "Cheaters always Cheat"
I don't know what to do... what to think... I'm sure I made the right choice in forgiving her.
I mean "Buddha forgives twice" so why can't I? |
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