Ughh I feel like crap. Do you know what happens when you share your food with a two year old with a runny nose? They sneeze now and then but still have the energy to tear apart your home while you chase behind them with a tissue attempting to wipe their noses so they are snot-free. You on the other hand... you become deathly ill as if your child has passed on the plague to you. My child is an energetic, snotty, destructive force with the attitude of a schizophrenic king kong with split personality disorder. I just want to lay in bed... not even because I'm sleepy. But I am sleepy. I never get sick, so I make a big deal out of it when I do haha.
I may have a job!! I went for an interview yesterday so hopefully everything works out. Its not necessarily a job that I want... it'd be as a habilitation assistant for those who are mentally disabled. I notice that spell check says habilitation is not a word which makes me wonder why this place is making it so. Anyway, I don't really want this job because it doesn't pay very well and I'm slightly uncomfortable working with people who are mentally disabled. At the same time, the hours are from 5a.m. to 9a.m. so its very part time, I can work while my son is asleep and I probably will have little interaction with them considering I don't wake up until 10, so I would assume most of them probably don't wake up until 8:30/9. Of course unless we're supposed to wake them up!
My mom signed me up for this charity thing... her church gets sponsors to bring Christmas to needy families... and my mom is the coordinator. My mom is extremely shallow and believes that everyone who is able to get help should. I disagree. I think that help should be reserved for those who are completely void of all hope. In truth, perhaps I'm delusional because I do have $40 in my bank account and no groceries in my fridge. I always look at the positives though- I have SOME money, I have SOME food, and we can make it for one more day which is a relief. Some people really can't. Some people don't have any money or any food or any hope that they will be alright. My apartment is warm, I have every single TV channel known to man, my internet is speedy quick and my cell phone is a $500 4G (of course we didn't pay that much for it). I do NOT need charity. I told my mom that this christmas thing should be reserved for those who really need to sign up... and then I signed up. I feel very guilty about it, but the reason why I agreed is because my mom said that she has too many sponsors and not enough applicants. She said that the same happened last year and she had so little families that the leftover donations were divvied up between the families and so each person got what they asked for- one person asked for a Wii which they got- and then each person's bag got an additional $300 worth of gift cards. I almost died. I wouldn't mind taking the left overs. And then I thought about if I don't get a job, I will be in trouble.. and Eric is taking everything expensive. He owns everything expensive, like the table and chairs I'm sitting on right now, the microwave, the ps3 which doubles as my DVD player, the TV, all of the big expensive stuff. I just have hand-me-down couches that my grandma was going to throw away and the bed that I've been sleeping in since middle school. My son has a dresser that only the top shelf works because the rest of the shelves are broken and dangerous... and I want my son to have nice things. I don't care about myself, but I want him to have nice things. I don't want him ever to think that I couldn't take care of him, or that he didn't have something he should have had. So... I signed up. Then my mom said that a woman she knew signed up because her husband cut up all her credit cards. I then felt less guilty.
My son's biological father is supposed to come up and visit this weekend but its now midway through the week and I haven't heard anything from him. I hate when people do that- when they don't keep in contact with you especially if they intend to come to your home as if they are doing you a favor by visiting. Really he sort of is- he's loaded and tends to pay for EVERYTHING. I could use a good dinner on him haha. I don't mind taking HIS charity because 10 minutes of satisfaction for him changed my life forever. I wouldn't have it any other way, but still. I believe men who get women pregnant should treat them. Why not? He offers anyway.
And more good news- I should have my degree finished by this summer!! YAY!! I'm so excited!! I've been working on my associates degree for 4years now. Initially I wasn't sure how I was going to like college so I took two classes. Then I got pregnant, so I took some time off because it took me a while to find some balance. Then I went back to finish it, so now this will be my 4th year come this January. YAY. I can't wait to transfer and start working on my bachelors. Assuming the world doesn't explode in 2012, 4 more years won't hurt me. |
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