Retail Holiday

Tis the season for me to spend money! I love this part of the year- right after the holidays, right before springtime when each and every store is getting rid of their old inventory thus marking down their prices by a ton. I know I'm not in a position to be spending a lot of money, but I got several gift cards and enjoy looking around for the gem in the rough. Our stores have so much clearance its insane. I've never seen so much! Overall I'm pretty pleased with my purchases too- I bought some thin long sleeved shirts that are good for the weather we're getting now. And I did pretty good financially I'd say- usually I'd get one of every color that looked good on me, but this time I only got one or two things from each store that I visited. Not even each store. I walked out of Pennys and one of the clerks asked me... "You tried on all that clearance and could only find that one shirt??" Haha I told her there is a difference between clothes that fit and clothes that fit well and make you look/feel great.

Speaking of feeling great... I did slip and peak at Eric's facebook one last time. I wanted to see if he was telling everyone how awful I am. What I found was much more interesting. He was begging his friends to go to the bar and hitting on chicks he doesn't even know. Like... he added this chick to his friends list, it said she was in a relationship and he asked her if in a year when he comes back if they could get a place together if she doesn't have a boyfriend. First of all, clearly he doesn't know her and second of all judging by his messages and the way he's typing I'm pretty sure he was drunk. And she was responding like uh.. okay? The funny part is I feel better now. I know for a fact that Eric has changed- he's got an addictive personality, and now he's addicted to alcohol/the bar scene. My best friend and I were laughing about that because this time last year if I would have even talked about having one beer Eric would have flipped his lid on me. When Brittni and I went to the bar he was not happy about it. I asked him to go with me and he just sat there miserable. So be it- I feel better he's not in my life anymore because I don't want that in my life.

My mother came up and stayed with me for about a week and it was irritating at times but it was nice. She brought a few things from home that belonged to me- I left them so they were using them, but knowing that Eric moved they brought them back. It was thoughtful and made me feel better too. I feel more like this is my home, not our home. We went to bath and body works and stayed for hours smelling all the smells and ended up buying things for ourselves. I got a body wash/body butter combo, as well as some wall scents for my plugins. The apartment smells like me now. When Eric lived here, it smelled like ashtray with a hint of tropical fruit. Haha. Now my apartment smells strongly of warm vanilla, apple spice, pumpkin- my favorite fall/winter smells.

AND I have my debt down to something manageable. I realize that I will never be able to catch up until I get taxes/disbursement checks from school and most importantly a job, but as of now my bills are manageable. My electric bill this month is only $20.

So basically I'm living, and I feel peaceful, which is nice. This is actually the first time I've felt at peace in a long time. It all still hurts, but being able to smell what I want, eat what I want, go where I want to go... its all nice, and not complicated. Its easy, and I think easy is what I need right now.