Lion

Tiffany's baby shower is this weekend, but I have to work. I got her some things like diapers, wipes, baby body wash, a toy, a bottle, and a sleeper. I just went to the Dollar General. I spent $20, so who knows what I would've spent somewhere else. They are low income so I'm sure she will appreciate anything, besides this is her 3rd child. So I sent Rachel a txt asking if she was going and she said she didn't get an invite. I almost wanted to tell her that paybacks are a bitch! Rachel was in Tiffany's wedding, but when Rachel got married she didn't even invite Tiffany to it! So maybe Tiffany doesn't really consider her a friend anymore. Who knows!

Mark and I haven't talked in a week. Apparently I jinxed it when I said we were doing good. I finally gave in and sent him a txt yesterday. All he said was that he missed me and work was bad, which I figured...

I'm still not really sure what to get Cameron for his birthday. I asked Melissa what he needed and she said clothes, which is a given. Kohl's opens up next Wednesday, plus Peebles is having a sale and I have coupons. She said she got him a few toys already, so I might just get him one toy, maybe some diapers and wipes, and go crazy with the clothes!

I guess Mom, Melissa and Cameron are going to Jen's for Easter. I would love to go, but I probably can't get time off. Plus, if I don't work Easter, I don't get paid for it at all, and it really hurts the paycheck. Who knows how I'll be feeling, and sometimes going to Jen's gets really stressful and I don't need something to happen while I'm down there. And it's a 12 hours drive.

I've been feeling... ok. I'm hoping I start my period within the next few days, because then I just might really think this is the cause of all of this. Then I can go to an OB/GYN and discuss a different BC. After this experience I'm kind of scared to get on a different pill, but I'd say I want something that's been out there for YEARS and is "safe".

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately... Last year Lindsey and I were talking about maybe moving this Spring/Summer. She said she was sick of Pittsburgh and wanted to move wherever there was an opening with her job. She said she didn't care where it was, and I said I'd go with her. Well we haven't discussed it in months and she didn't mention it at Christmas. About a month ago Uncle Randy said she has a boyfriend, plus Jason and Dana are expecting in July. So now I can't imagine her leaving, which sucks for me...

But Chris and Sandy are ALWAYS telling me (and Melissa) to move to NC and live with them. Well why shouldn't I finally accept their offer! I even looked online real quick at jobs and there are TONS! Even though I went to college for secreterial/administrative assistant and that's what I want to do, my experience is in retail and that's what I was looking up. So I would obviously apply at retail jobs first just to make money, but keep applying for other jobs. Then I can hopefully save a lot of money and then get a place of my own.

It's a lot to think about I would obviously have to talk to Chris about it. They live right outside of Charlotte in a gorgeous house, and I would only be 3 hours away from Jen and the kids. The only shitty thing is that I would then be 12 hours from everyone else.

A few years ago Melissa asked if I would really move and be away from family, but I have to do things to make ME happy. If I stay because of family I will never be truly happy and I will never find a better job. I have always wanted to get away from here and I need to just do it! But first I need to get better, and then I can figure things out. Maybe a change in my life is what I need! I'm stuck in some rut and I just need a change of life and scenery!

Since this is long enough, I won't write much more. Tonight some of us from work are going out to dinner. Kim and Sheila can't go, so everyone else that's going is at least 15 years older than me. It's still going to be fun, but I wish I had someone else in my age group going. Oh well!