It'd kind of ironic how today's NoJoMo is about something I've been dealing with lately. I've been wanting to write about it for a few weeks now and can't bring myself to do it. I've never participated in one of these so I'm not exactly going to follow what it says.
Do you believe it's possible to become very close friends with someone you've never met in person, through interaction on the internet? Who is your closest internet friend whom you've never met in person? Write about your friendship. What has enabled you to become close? Do you have any plans to meet? Do you think that meeting will change your friendship in any way?
So Mark and I haven't talked in over a week and I think we're through. Last week there was an article in the newspaper about a guy with his exact name. I thought it was funny and sent him a txt about it. He also said it was funny and told me he was tired. I said he must have another slutty whore because he hasn't asked me for anything in a while. He said no, he was at a tax seminar for work. Well things kind of blew up from there and we haven't talked since.
Was it my fault? Yes and no. I got pissed at him for the way he's been acting lately and I couldn't deal with it anymore. I probably shouldn't have said what I did, but he deserved it. HE hasn't talked to me since. I've sent him a few txts and I haven't heard anything from him. At this point he's a fucking asshole. We've known each other for 7 years and after every fucking thing he's said to me he's a dick for treating me like this. He was obviously all talk this whole time and never meant a fucking word he said. I hope some day he finds the slutty whore he's always wanted and she can handle his expectations. Good luck to her!
I remember when he got mad at me for putting up with Nick's shit for 3 years. At least he TALKED to me about things. In the end how is Mark any different? I thought he was better than that, but he's the same. He actually hurt me a lot more than Nick did. I NEVER cried myself to sleep over Nick.
I remember when I went to San Diego and Mark wanted to come down and see me. We had only known each other 1.5 years and I wasn't ready yet! But what if I had said yes, where would we be at today? Then I remember when I went to Las Vegas. He didn't come see me because he was supposedly afraid of what would happen. I told him it's called taking a fucking chance. You'd think that would've been the ending point for us, but it wasn't. We kind of acted like it never happened. But then last year for no reason he stopped talking to me. 5 months later I heard from him. He said he didn't know what to think of 'us' anymore. There NEVER was an 'US' because of HIM!
Things have been strange between us for months now. The last actual conversation I remember us having was maybe back in July. It seemed like he was always busy with work, or that's the excuse he gave me. Then when he went to HI and didn't even tell me? What the fuck!? So when he got back it actually seemed like he cared. He knew I was really pissed that I didn't know. He was supposedly soooo hard at work thinking about fucking me. (That's actually something I mentioned to him last week that never got a response.) He called me the night of his birthday, but I never heard my phone go off. What if, what if, what if?
I'm trying NOT to blame myself for this because I'm not the one who distanced myself. I'm not the one who said things I didn't mean. I didn't talk shit for the last 7 years. It just hurts because I guess it feels like we weren't even friends. I was just a toy to him.
NO ONE asked about him when we talked ALL THE TIME. Then all of a sudden people start asking about him and I'm so sick of making up excuses...
Fuck you Mark............................. Fuck you..................
The only thing I think is kind of funny... It's possible he's had a girlfriend or many these last 7 years. The shit he said to me that whole time? If I was his girlfriend and knew what he said, I'd be fucking PISSED. Let me tell you... That shit was NOT clean and it was almost an every day thing. And I can't imagine she would've been happy knowing he was cumming for me on the phone... HAHA!
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