Things have been going... ok.
I still don't feel completely normal, and I feel like this is just how the rest of my life will be and I have to accept that. I try to keep living a normal life and hoping things will get better. Work is still work but I NEED to get out of there. I'm having a hard time telling Mom and Dad about Vegas, but I told myself that I need to do it this Summer and hopefully move out there in September or so. I HAVE TO!
I recently joined the facebook world. I've had one for about a year, but everything was completely private and I didn't have a picture or any information. I only had one to enter sweepstakes and play certain games. Well then I got playing Candy Crush and needed tickets to advance. Lisa told me to add her, and once people see that you have one, they add you and it doesn't stop...
Everyone is shocked that I finally got one because I kept saying I never would and I gave in. But it's kind of fun. Part of it is depressing because you see that certain classmates have this awesome job or that they are married and having babies, but I try not to let it get to me. That will be me some day, I hope.
I did look up Nick. I was curious about what he's doing with his life. I guess I still think of him as a loser that hurt me. Unfortunately his information was private, so I sent him a friend request. He accepted and I figured he would message me ASAP. But he didn't and a few days later I finally looked at his profile. I was shocked (and even sad?) to see that he's married! I guess I was just expecting him to still be the same guy from 6 years ago and couldn't believe he actually found one girl and settled down. But yesterday he did message me, so that kind of made me feel somewhat better and I don't know why.
Mark and I haven't talked in over 6 months and it still kills me. I don't know why I'm having such a hard time letting him go. I sent him a txt the other day because I couldn't take it, but I never heard back and that hurt. I can't go one day without something reminding me of him. I'm trying to put 7 years behind me and it's not easy. I'm tempted to send him a friend request, but if he doesn't accept it I will be devastated, so I guess I'd rather not do it.
Saturday is Melissa's wedding. We were best friends in high school and have REALLY drifted apart. The sad thing is that we've always lived 30 minutes apart and I'm lucky if I see her once a year. At her bridal shower they did the 'who knows the bride best' game. I figured they would do it and I told myself I knew nothing about her. Well I won! It was exciting and felt good that I still know her the best.
Nate is going with me so I'm sure we'll have a lot of fun! I'm glad he's going because I knew no one at her shower and would've felt so out of place going alone. I hope there's a ton of alcohol! Haha...
I guess this is as exciting as this entry will get. Until next time...
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