i just want to be happy. it seems like i fuck everything up. like i focus so much on making people i love happy because that's what makes me happy but then i realize i don't make them happy and i think that's y im not happy i'm so depressed, well kinda right now... me and the boyfriend fight all the time, i feel like i do nothing right. i have been thru so much, beaten... cheated on, raped... soooooooooo much and after all i have been thru i have seen people always just fuckin ppl over to come up... doin what they got to to come up... getting other ppl so they don't get got first. so that's all i kno. my boyfriend is not like that.... so why can't i get all this shit out of my mind that i think he's going to do to me like all the others have? i need help... maybe i need counseling idk what to do... someone please help... even advice... encouraging words... cuz i'm at the end of my rope... i have been unhappy for too long... this is my time... i deserve this and i don't want to push it out of my life because of things in MY mind... my issues
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