so a lot has happened and i'm going to start writing more you guys. i need an outlet. i ended up being pregnant. and long story short i had an eptopic pregnancy. instead of doin surgery it was early enough they gave me a chemotherapy shot to deplete the cells. THEN mom helped me get into an apartment. TWO weeks later i got kicked out because my boyfriend at the time stayed the night. he wanted 10$ per night per guest. WHAT A FUCKIN JACK ASS! because he pays water trash and sewer... ummmmm isn't that included in my rent which was 480 for a busted ass small ass apartment. so me and my boyfriend had been fighting a lot... and i think a lot of it was because of me losing the baby. (o right before i got pregnant they were supposed to be doing a biopsy for cancer which was put on hold because of the baby but i'll come back to that) So we kinda broke it off about a week or 2 ago and that didn't last but not even 12 hours. well we just fought again today... maybe because we spend so much time together. but it was a bad fight. he hit me and a dog puked on my bed and i cleaned it up with his shirt and rubbed it in his hair. i know, i was wrong but we both were. when i lose it i really lose it. So i took him home and wouldn't you know my car started shooting antifreeze everywhere and overheated. But none the less i think it's really over and it's sad because i really love him so much. I finished my first quarter in school... passed all my classes except the one i dropped which was chemistry so i'm taking that this quarter. i start on wednesday i will be taking chemistry, 2nd half of psychology, and nurse's aid training. i'm excited for the nurse's aid training. i want a good job  My youngest baby turned 2 and we had his party at chuck e cheese. it was a good time.
BUT... so i'm living with my friend in her extra bedroom with her dogs right now. but on a good note, i think my amazing aunt and uncle might be buying the house at the end of their lane for me and my kids. i will be paying the mortgage and then when i can i will get it switched in my name. He is supposed to get the keys to look at the inside the first of this week... i am so excited i really am praying that there is nothing wrong with this place because it it right next to my aunt and uncle and cousin and also my great aunt and uncle. and it has a back yard and a garage and a shed... perfect.... o so perfect.
i'm just lost though. i really love anthony. i don't want to live without him. I talked to his mom and she said he would cool down. and i know if i write this on here it sounds bad. the argument was over because he went thru my calls and found a number from 3 months ago and i have NO idea who it is... i guess they called me and i talked to them for 26 min. i kept trying to call them today to figure out who it is but no answer and full mail box... i have no idea what to do. he thinks i was talking to someone behind his back and i never have EVER. i have NEVER cheated it is not in me. but in the beginning of our relationship he was allowed to be online and talk to girls about everything including sex and go do things with his friends that were girls and talk to his ex behind my back... and still i would never do anything like that to him.
but i'm watching the celtics play right now. my new love is rondo. OH, i get my biopsy for cancer on thursday... i'll keep you guys updated, i'm really scared. have a great and blessed sunday night all |
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