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Doing my best...That's all I can do.
by Just_live

previous entry: You never had a chance, and no one even knew it was rea

next entry: I don't want to be a footnote in someone elses happines

Hmm, this is going to be a surprising entry...

02/04/2009

Ok, so in the past few days i've learned a few interesting things.

The first, which was surprising, was that Wes told Christy to tell me he said he was sorry. That one took me by surprise. Apparently, and lets remember that i'm trying to remember what she said, he told her that what they did to me was fucked up, and although he was mad at the time, looking back on it he thinks it was shitty. And for her to say he was sorry to me.
At first I couldn't think of anything to say. Beause I was seized by the overwhelming urge to cry. (The reasoning for that comes later.) Then I just told her to tell him that it was cool, ya know, whatever. And thanks.
What the hell else could I possibly say to that, you know? Not just because of shock factor, but also because, well. What the hell. Who would expect that shit.
The second, which wasn't so surprising, was Tom talking to her about me. Apparently she was told by him to tell me that he asked about me and that he didn't hate me. This doesn't come as a shock because according to Chesba they keep asking about me all the time. (His parents I mean.) Why I don't know. But apparently they do.
She said that he tried saying that he heard that we were'nt friends anymore. Because THAT could ever happen. And THEN he asked about me.
That one I said nothing to. Because there was nothing to say. How the hell am I expected to respond to that? "He says to tell me he asked about you...." "Oh, well tell him I got the message.."
????
I have no clue. At first, back in the earlier stages, when I found out that they were asking her shit about me. And she was telling them stuff. I was PISSED. Beyond pissed actually. I was overcome with a seething hatered and I told her that if she kept doing it i'd rip out her tounge.
Now, I don't care. I'm not mad. I don't get over come with feelings of ripping out tounges. I just don't care. I was hurt about it before, yeah.
Wouldn't you be if you felt like your best friend, and people you thought of as family were hurting you? Granted I didn't take it well at all at first because I was also dealing with a break up.
But now, it's whatever to me. I have my love. I have amazing friends. It's a thing of the past. All of it is.
Look at it this way, had it not happened, I wouldn't have found Jake. Meaning I wouldn't be happy. Because Jake makes me happy as shit.
Actually I would have found him. I swear I was destined to meet him. lol.
I wouldn't have a lot of the things I do now. It's just all been for the better.
Which brings me to the third thing. This one is the biggest, and best piece of news.
I'm pregnant. I found out on the thirty first. I was freaking out at first. So scared.
But now, i'm excited. Me and Jake are going to have a baby.

previous entry: You never had a chance, and no one even knew it was rea

next entry: I don't want to be a footnote in someone elses happines

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