lost

09/04/2011

feeling really lost and quite alone at the moment...cant really describe it, but nothing right now is making me happy..sure i can put on a facade but once Im back alone again I just feel like I regret my life and wish Id lived it differently =/ no point in regretting the past anyway, but it just irritates me that i've wasted so much time on the wrong things and wrong people.

mardi gras was yesterday - it was fun even though it was pouring with rain, one of the rides got stuck at the end because water got in the electrics, and i felt really weird all day.. kinda not myself...bec kept nudging & asking if i was ok, of course i kept saying yes, dont think she believed me though =/

still having big problems with annabel, its a long story but since she split with ben, she's has her head right up her arse; accusing everyone of not caring etc, even though we've all spent hours and hours with her, listening to her talk, giving advice she never takes, etc. I invited her to the gym today, she said no cuz she was going out, then she text me around 1 to see if i were at the gym, i said no, then she got all funny with me saying i could have spent time with her, could have gone to see her (note how she never ever says she'll come round to mine?); and not to bother any more, she doesnt blame us for not wanting to spent time with her etc etc etc. thing is when she's being like this I really dont want to spend much time with her, it sounds awful but really...she's not helping herself one bit. and I expect Ill have to do all the apologising and begging to get back into her good books!