oh

04/21/2011

I'm writing this from my very own laptop, woohoo! Although it's a little irritating that the cursor keeps jumping about and I keep typing in random places thanks to that! grrr!

Well I know my loyal fans and readers (lol) are dying to know what's happening in my life (lol again..) well the short of it is that it's all over between andrew and I already I stayed saturday as you guys know...then i text him sunday night to see if he was ok because he'd been quiet and not responding to my texts all day - he finally text back at like 1am monday morning saying he'd been doing a lot of thinking and that we shouldnt have moved so fast - fine, I can accept that, we'd already talked and agreed to slow down anyway. So I sent a message back basically saying I wasn't sure what he was saying, because it was a bit ambiguous. Finally monday lunchtime he answered and said he'd come to the decision we should stay friends (what about what I think?) and that he thinks we were 'both confused' in the heat of the moment - umm...I wasnt confused ..I knew what I wanted? So now I feel a bit of a fool to be honest, but don't know if basically he got scared because of how fast it was moving or what..but there we are. When i saw him tuesday afternoon at work, he asked if I was ok with what he said..I was a bit pissed to be honest.. but I said yes, not like i had a choice in being ok with it is it

I asked him later that night (via text)once i was home about his faith, and how he found it. I've been looking for some sort of guidance lately in my life...I dont necessarily believe in God..There's no way I believe that I came into this world through god..as I know 100% that I came to this world through IVF! Soo...not something I think I could ever honestly believe tbh. Checked out a book from the library on spirituality and all that jazz today so maybe that could be an interesting read!

I'm bored today, feel like I should go out on a walk for some exersize, I've been doing well losing weight and want to keep it up! but i don't want to go alone, my ipod is flat, and all my friends are out with their boyfriends...bloody typical..one downside to being single!