Denny had another party last night.
I had a bit of fucking everything. Why am I so stupid? I didn't even get a buzz, and I even drank a bit of vodka. I probably mixed so many drinks that I'm lucky I didn't puke.
Plus of course I smoked. Though this time I went for cigs more than weed because the people WITH weed were so fucked up they couldn't do anything. One guy got $20 worth and just...held it like it was his baby. I got a few hits of that and shared two cigs.
So of course now I want a cigarette.
But honestly, nothing made me feel nothing like I had hoped. I remained completely aware of everything the whole time. My speech slurred just a wee bit, but other than that I knew just how miserable I was. I knew how much I hated being gay and crushing on Denny.
Or Marco, the kid from another school.
Why? Why must I be that way?
But he was soooooooo damn fine. |