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begin.
I have no creativity for titles.
(Note: If you expected the below image or one like it, you win!)
(Actually, saying win, if you are like me, probably makes you lose THE GAME, just like I did. ^_^)
Anyway, I feel utterly horrendous now. I don't like bitching all the time, but I really hate being a teenager.
Point one: School is overwhelming. I can't keep up with a college-level class when my teachers haven't prepared me for worse than middle-school level teaching. I know I say I'm smart and advanced, but I'm only smart and advanced by comparison. So, since I am a B student in history right now, no one is an A student. Most of the class is in the D-to-low-C range. I don't want the class to be easier. I fucking love it. But dear Lord, I also despise it. I love that I am finally being challenged. But I am being challenged in a class I already hate while I am taking another class I hate (English) and one more that is physically demanding (yes, PE, shut up). Sadly, I can't dedicate my time to history because I have no motive to read the shit. The textbook is terrible. I'd love to have lecture tapes to take home or something. Better yet, I'd love him to fucking quiz me on his lectures!!! For the past two days we got a crash-course in English history from the Magna Carta to the (English) Bill of Rights, spending a lot of time on Lizzy Numbah One. However, I just took a quiz on French and East-European Absolutism! IMHO, the English were never absolutist. Elizabeth I was powerful, but not fully. Louis XIV, though...whew. He was a character. "I AM THE SUN KING!" Whatever, yo. 
That's just history though. I also have a research paper (I LOST THE BOOK FOR THAT, TOO. THAT IS SO FUCKING ME. WHERE THE HELL IS ITTTTT?!?!?!?!) and a "literary analysis" (read: "book report") to do. Like, fully. I haven't started on any of the final stuff. I have a few notecards and sources for the research paper, and I'm halfway through the book for the report. But it's all due Oct 14/15. Gahh. This, plus reading for Lit. SCAEL (Quiz Bowl teams), has me going insane.
Oh yeah. PE is actually PE + Driver's Ed. That class is shit. We read about obvious crap and are tested on minute details you don't use when driving. Like, I know to keep my eyes 20-30s ahead, but I don't call it the "Smith System." I drive without wrecking, but I don't use that goddamn SIPDE method.
Point two: I'm closet gay. And I love Slaw to death, but she isn't very sympathetic for me. Like, I let her bitch about stuff all the time. And I listen and give advice. She does the same, but I think she still doesn't listen too much. Like, I hate when she says "That's so gay!" I know it may seem petty, especially when it is a blessing to have a friend that knows that I can talk to, but it irritates me. She doesn't say "faggot" anymore. For that I am grateful. But I can't tell her to stop saying "gay" too. I mean, I love joking with her sometimes about how I'm gay. "Oh man, she's hot...but it isn't like you care!" I think this is great because we always joke like that. But saying certain things are "gay" when they aren't homosexual or happy just...piss me off.
Also, Mom definitely hates gay people. And I live in a really shitty area. If I came out, there would be a 0% chance of starting a GSA (support-wise; schools are legally obligated to ALLOW me if I were to have an adult sponsor, which I wouldn't). I would definitely not be allowed to participate in the Day of Silence unless I just skipped school (which defeats the purpose, in a way).
Oh! It turns out the Jacob from entries past is actually "definitely" gay. I use quotes because I heard it secondhand. (From a reliable source, but I have some trust issues!) Sure, he exudes gay from every pore, orifice, and action, but I still had my doubts. The situation leading me to find out he was gay was that he actually almost/maybe/LOL WUT/sorta hooked up with a notoriously stereotypical gay guy from this area. Like, everyone in the county knows his name. He isn't someone to look up to, that's for sure. Honestly, he acts MEGA-gay just like some closet cases act MEGA-straight. I just don't think the logic works both ways. xD
Also, the physical-only crush on Caleb isn't getting better. Mainly because I think stubble is really hot and he hasn't shaved in a while.
Gah, I really just wanna come out. Now. Fuck consequences. I feel like I am living a lie allllll the time.
Point three: Mom's a bitch. This ties into the above's hypothetical "I come out NOW" scenario. She'd hate me. But she also has no friends outside of her small group at church. She's turning 40 Monday. I feel soooo bad. I had planned to have Slaw over on the Friday before her birthday so we could set up for the party on that Saturday. Now she has to go with me to the small group thing because they are throwing my mom a party. : / I hate that church soooo much.
I also have to do chores all the time. I barely get time to do stuff I WANT TO FUCKING DO. I am always studying or cleaning or working on SOMETHING. JESUS CHRIST.
I can't wait until next semester. I tie all my trouble to school. Next semester vs. this semester.
First period:
Adv. Biology vs. Adv. World History
Hahahahaha. Mrs. Rigney is sooo chill. She'll be difficult, but not close to Touart. So I look forward to that class. It will provide a slight challenge, but meh.
Second:
French III vs. Adv. Alg/Trig
I haven't done shit in Alg/Trig this semester. It isn't an SOL class (ie, the teacher makes an exam), so she really just does whatever the fuck she wants. And she currently wants to review ALGEBRA FUCKING ONE. So whatever. French is always really easy. I guess no change? Maybe French will be slightly harder.
Third:
Spanish I vs. Hnrs. Eng. 10
Mrs. Reynolds sucks. She isn't a good teacher at all. She doesn't actually TEACH. She gives out papers and grades them. She's like a perpetual substitute teacher. I have no clue who will teach my Spanish class since the original teacher (Mr. Hales) can't teach it. His teaching license expired and he can't renew it in time. LOL. He's such a shitty teacher. I dodged a bullet by not getting him. I was told that I would have to learn everything online. I wish I had a possibility of getting Mrs. Ayuso, the GODDESS OF ALL THAT IS SPANISH. She lived in Spain for like three years. And hell if she spoke any English unless the other person didn't know Spanish. I love her without having had her. Whenever I see her, she speaks Spanish to my friends, so I say "Bonjour, Mme Ayuso ! Comment-allez vous ?" She responds with the bit of French she knows, but I still think I could out-French her. xD
As you can see, I want to take higher Spanish so I can have her. She only teaches Spanish II and up, but she is the ONLY teacher to teach Spanish III and up. Ms. James (who might be quitting after this year) is terrible at French. I talk to people online that correct her all the time. So I am taking the stuff from the book as likely-fact and what she says as maybe-fact. I wish we got a new French teacher that rocked like Mrs. Ayuso...
Fourth:
Pre-Calculus I-II vs. PE/Driver's Ed.
hahahahahahahahaha
...
hahahahaha!!!!
hahah!!!
hahaahahaha!!!!!!
Math fucking OWNS.
PS:
9x - 7i > 3(3x - 7u)
solve for i.end. | | |
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