second phone call/online friend :)

I know. It's really exciting.

I don't even know how to describe the twists and turns

my stomach makes while I'm on the phone with him.

The second time was more natural, more real, and more serious.

We still joked around a lot, but the conversation was more 

personal this time, and it kind of made me 

nervous.

The first day we talked was on August 12th/13th

(cause we talked past midnight)

and the second day was August 15th. 

So two days later.

We actually talked for two hours this time.

I know nothing will happen with us, even if he makes

me queasy and even if he reminds me

of most of what I'd like in a guy...

So I guess that's why I fight against myself,

and tell myself to stop thinking of him,

and to stop writing about him. 

But I can't!!!

I just don't feel I'm ready to let go of this fantasy yet.

I want to let myself feel like I'm going on a little adventure.

At least for a few days. Then when he goes back

to where he came from, we can be like before. 

He has this weird ability of not saying anything intimate or

suggestive, but at the same time, he

manages to say the sweetest things...

in such a shy and quiet, yet direct tone.

I wonder if the thought of me has ever

made him feel a little weird at one point, haha.

---

On another note. I know it sucks to change "notes", but really...

On a another note, I feel a little anxious about school

starting up again for this fall semester.

The subject of my first entries is back,

and I'm almost completely sure he 

enrolled for some classes during fall.

I'm scared.

What if I run into him?

I'd drop dead.

It has me so confused.

I don't want to be rude or ignore him-

I'm not looking to hurt him in any way.

But I also don't want to "catch up" or talk. 

I hope I just never see him. If that can somehow happen,

I'd be so thankful.

I'm still not over him,

and my heart wouldn't be able to handle it.