Note to self : this 'relationship' is not healthy.
Remember how shit and worthless you feel right now, and make it stop. You won't listen. Either he wants to be with you, or he doesn't.
Lying awake, listening to him fuck a woman like some backwards voyeur is not normal, and it's not doing you any good.
He fucks you, he doesn't love you. A means to an orgasm. He wants you because you're convenient and you're acting like a stupid slut.
Talking to myself now, that's sane.
A word of advice - never fuck your best friend. You'll end up as wrecked as me.
I promised I'd never be this person. How did I end up so deeply involved in something I tried to avoid? And how does he win me over every time? It all seems so loving, and then...
But I don't want it to end. I do, I do, but... when he's actually here, I forget how I feel when he leaves. I hate pretending. Either he wants me, or he doesn't. Why am I letting him do this to me over and over?! For fucks sake, I need to open my eyes.
Some people just aren't meant to have fuck buddies... and I was naive enough to agree to this. I have no one to blame but myself. |
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♥Lacy
