(This entry is gonna be kinda ghey cause you know I'm usually very crude in describing stuff and I'm not very gooey, but I feel like I needed to put it down. This is directed at him. Obviously.)
You know why I can't leave you? Because when I'm with you and you move in closer to me I get completely wrapped up in this "feeling"... I've never felt anything like this; I've never let anything consume me as deeply as you do. This feeling of complete desire overwhelms me, and it makes me feel like I'm walking on clouds. I start feeling so drunk with passion that I'd let you do anything to me. All my thoughts, worries and logic are blanketed when you move your lips so close to mine that I can almost taste you. It's as if all of my darkness disappears and you replace it with this soft glow, a soft amber-colored glow. This warmth envelops me so deeply that I think nothing can ever hurt me again.
When you enter me I feel such ultimate joy that makes it difficult for me to contain the grin that spreads across my face. When our bodies are so wrapped up in each other, time stops and I feel like I'm dreaming. When release yourself in me I feel so connected with you I imagine that nothing else can come between us, and that this moment enthralls you as completely as it captivates me.
And then she is back in your life, and I feel like I'm going to break. The darkness creeps back into my soul and I remember that I wasn't going to allow myself to feel anything except physical pleasure with you. I again remember this promise I made to myself those 4 months ago.
So I try to leave it all behind; you, her, this mess we're in. And then you smile at me, and I melt away into nothing. The darkness gets locked away in a box and nothing but you replace it. You barely touch my skin and it's as if your fingers leak that warm light through my skin, and I willingly let it flow through me. It makes me give you my body, my mind, my soul. I abandon all reason. My entire being belongs to you now.
And then she's back again. Back with the key that unlocks the darkness that can't seem to leave me alone. Why can't it just leave me alone?
So you see? You understand why you make this so hard? This decision should be a an easy one; that I should just walk away cause I deserve more. But then you look at me with those eyes, those incredible blue eyes, and you bewitch me all over again...
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