Another.Dizzy.Day.

Got up at 6am. Had to babysit. Gotta do it for the next 2 days! Although I'm looking forward to tomorrow!! Melissa is off! As soon as I take Katelen [the 3 yr. old] to school, Melissa, T.J. [the 1 y/o] and I are heading to Madisonville, to pay the first months rent and get the keys!!! Then I'm gonna see if I can get New Moon, if anyone has a copy of it! Wal-Mart was out last time I checked! ugh.

I've been dizzy again today! I'm getting so tired of it! I'm gonna try to make an appt at the health department next week. Plus- another symptom has come about. Well, I'm not sure it's another symptom, its just really annoying like everything else. lol
Since yesterday afternoon, my left eye has been constantly twitching. bleh.
Makes it hard to see. lol
And my head is still hurting. Right now it's just a dull ache. But it's still getting on my nerves.
Still no pain in my ears. Or any problems with my sinuses. I'm not saying that it's NOT an ear or sinus infection. I'm just saying it doesn't seem like one. Plus the whole fluttering in the chest and rapid pulse, and fever wouldn't be explained. Anyways- I'll have it checked out soon and let you guys know.

You ever just figure things out? I mean, you hear people tell you things all the time, but you just have to figure them out on your own. Does that make any sense?
Okay- so, I've always heard people say that you can't go back. You just can't go back to the way things used to be.
I never paid attention to that saying until recently. There are some people in my life that, although I wish we could go back to the way we used to be, we just can't. [and no, not exes.]
These people have moved on without me. I know I had a hand in that. But we always promised we'd stay close. And even though we still talk occasionally, it's just not the same, and I feel so left out. They have their own lives now. They're still close to each other. But that's to be expected. They were close way before I came into the picture. And they've remained that way.

And it always seems like I'm the one that causes problems. They could be fine with each other, extremely close [like, being their when their children are born, close] and then when I try to get back in the picture, everyone starts fighting. So, it must just be me.

They were basically my only good friends when I lived in GA. Then I moved to Alabama, and I only knew the people that Melissa knew, and they all hated me! Now we're up here, and still, I have no friends. I've tried. But I get tired of all of the drama. And I don't want to be a part of it. So I just don't have friends.

I guess I just have to accept it though. Hopefully it'll get better.

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