I don't want to kill myself. I don't want to die. But sometimes the idea of going to sleep and just not waking up again sounds almost pleasant. I hate constantly thinking and worrying and hating myself. I just want to be able to live in the moment. I want to be able to wake up smiling and go to bed smiling.
I want to be able to enjoy my hobbies, pursue my dreams, and have meaningful relationships without it being a constant struggle to hold it together.
I think that sometimes but in the end you can't have any of the good things in life while in a coma. Besides sometimes the struggle makes it all worth it in the end.
It's really only as complicated as you make it out to be. I know it sounds stupid, but have you ever heard the phrase 'Fake it til you make it'? As in, fake being happy and not let anything bother you until you get the hang of it and really feel that way. Of course, it wont happen if you do it for a day and keep looking at your watch thinking "why hasn't it worked yet?". You just have to keep on going no matter what. I mean think about it, do you really believe that these 'happy' people you envy have perfect lives, and nothing bad ever happens to them? No. They get dealt the same sh*t hands that everyone else does. They just realize that they only have one life, and it would be a waste to live it worrying about stuff that doesn't matter. Fake it til you make it! Trust me, it works.
I think a lot of people feel the same way.
Anyway.
It's not impossible to live in the moment.
It's the best way to live life actually (;
But then again, easier said than done.
Don't give up (:♥
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<3 It sounds like I could have wrote this. Don't worry, us crazy people will get through it together 
"Make it burn always with the hardest flame!"