I keep pretending my husband is such a great guy. And honestly he's really not that great. I caught him looking at something the other day and it really bothers me, I can't bare to stare at him or touch him, when he touchs me I cringe.
I don't know if our marriage can last after what I saw him looking at.
I heard the quote "Loves bricks can build a house, or it can weigh down a dead body."
The dead body sounds right if I catch him looking at it again.
჻ೋ჻ Yeah what you do depends on how bad it was that you saw him looking at. I'm in agreement with the above commenter, if it's dead people or donkeys leave. Someone with kinks like that probably won't change or stop. And you should never be that uncomfortable. ჻ೋ჻
I know the feeling. Must EX husband was looking at vulgar disgusting things and I dealt with it for two sexless years because I couldn't touch him. I finally had to leave...it was too much. Secret poster...if you wanna talk...I have been there. It is so hard, you are so ashamed and disgusted...I know.
I know exactly how you feel. It doesn't matter what it was you saw him looking at, because you felt disgusted. To you it was awful, even if another person wouldn't be bothered by it.
Even though I'm not offended by porn, when I've found a significant other looking at it, caught them jerking to it, or even "evidence", I've been horrified. It's a personal thing, but I don't like that in relationships. It's shady.
Having said that, I've found evidence of some disturbing stuff too. I confronted him about it, and there was a misunderstanding. I don't know if I should believe him, but I did. Haven't seen it again since.
Confronting him took a lot of balls and took awhile for me to work up to, but I did it. And you should too. You said for better or for worse, and this is the 'worse'. Do your part to save your marriage and hopefully he'll be willing to as well.
Good luck! And like Becca said, I've been there and if you need to talk, I'm here!
I've been there, too. My ex and his best friend had a huge thing for anime porn... But the REALLY raunchy stuff. The fact that he/they were into it alone bothered me to no end, but they took it a step further by writing stories/skits about it with their own 'characters' (like a role playing game). The friend seemed to be a bit more into it than my ex was, but he certainly played his part, as I saw, as well. It really caught me off guard, and I was never able to look at him the same way again, which has never happened to me before in a relationship. Kinda went downhill from there, even though he did his best to keep it away from me and I knew I was being silly... I just couldn't wrap my mind around it I guess. Sorry you have to go through that, too. It's tough, especially when part of you feels like you could be overreacting, but the other part can't stand it :/