yeah yeah. Huh? Yeah Steve said there are bugs... sure are, I can't put a template to my entry.. had to paste it in here. Ohhh well.
So. Today is the day Caleb flies with Mike to FL. They're only staying today-friday though. Thank goodness. At first I thought it was tues-sat, but it's not. Woot. Anyway, Caleb's never flown with just mike... he's flown with either just me, or Mike and I together. he'll have a lot of fun though, i'm glad. I wonder where they're flying in to.. hmm
So about Mike and I.. yeah. I went to Maine (caleb and i) to visit my biological father (OMG IT WAS SO FUN, I CAN'T WAIT TO GO BACK!!!) and I realized that you know what.. I can't put up with all this anymore. I'm so blah about it. I got home and realized I just couldn't do it. I was tired of mike not doing anything with me, with Caleb, ALWAYS on the computer playing WoW... etc. So I left. Then Mike got suicidal. Saying it was his depression that was keeping him from having any energy to do anything together, ever. He's been depressed for YEARS and never fixed it because he wanted to "be a man" and put up with it, I guess. So for a month, he tried getting me back by doing anything and everything. He came over with his suit on, played Green Eyes on the car radio, gave me a rose. It was very sweet, but still. He's not trying anymore because I told him I don't love him anymore. He's on lexapro now, and he's doing great. I wanted him to get better for himself, not for me.
It's way more long and complicated than just this, but I just can't come back now that he's better. It was crap when we were together, and I know he would show me every day that he loved me, but simply can not turn back on a love switch and be in love with him again. It's ok, he's kinda dating another girl right now anyway. It's cool! I do want him to be happy even if it's not with me. he says that what I say is a stupid cliche thoug... but it's really how I feel. 
Well if you got through this, then woot! I feel good for actually writing it, hahaha. c-ya, gotta get Caleb's toys and stuff ready for the flight! Yall pray that he doesn't cry when I leave him at the airport with daddy  classic layouts |
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