I never thought I'd ever be one of those grown ups that got stressed- I look at my parents and even deciding who's going to make the tea gets them too stressed to be in the same room together, but recently I've been feeling it too.
Due to my stupid IBS or whatever it actually is eating, socialising and generally being more than a minute away from a toilet has been stressful- throwing up in the middle of the street a few weeks ago was when I realised I had to make the doctors actually do something soon, before I go back to school- or else it's going to be impossible! The doctors are now finally (after over a year of problems) referring me to Guys for official testing etc to try and figure out what it is I'm eating etc that is making me so ill...
Buying a house- simple in my mind for picking out pretty things and handing over my money- it turns out- not so simple! Yes house is approved and mortgage approved and then the nightmares started a couple of days ago about the fact that it's a non-desirable location, and then the guy not wanting to give us furniture anymore etc... why can't things just go along swimmingly??! I have Adam (lifeline in all of this) telling me it's going to be OK, but when he's still spending money like a trouper I'm not instantly filled with confidence that living with him will be manageable. I pretty much suck with my money but over the past 5 years of living without my parents I'm figuring it all out- he's never lived away from home, which poses issues money wise as he doesn't figure things like food, gas, council tax etc into his monthly spending!!
My last stress really is going back to school- I am looking forward to teaching all my cool kids again, silently dreading getting any naughty kids as I don't have the will or the energy to deal right now, and kicking myself for not doing my marking earlier or taking home the schemes to actually read through and get confident with... still I have a week to turn it all around, and I'll try to do it this week if possible!
\i'm going to the dentist and opticians this week too to figure out my headaches- think it's just my wisdom teeth breaking through and destroying my back molars again (joy) but then at least I can have another operation to sort them out- yes it was painful enough when it went wrong last time that I cried for the first time in ages, but it was a free diet, the drugs made me sleep like the dead, and I got 2 weeks off!
Just want to be able to sleep through a night so I don't push my boyfriend, the last person who seems able to stand being around me at the moment, away. I LOVE how supportive he is, and that he can take me being the bitch that I am... it also makes me feel very bad though, and I partly just want to turn my phone off and hide in my room for a week..
love Fallen xxx |
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I would absolutely love to switch off everything and hide in my room for a week too, so I have an idea about how you feel! I hope things get sorted out with the house.
