I know we haven't really gotten along. But I wanted you to know, how very much I appreciate you hanging in as long as you did. I mean, it's sucked, but it could've sucked so much more. Thank you for making that fistula somewhere where I could keep near perfect bowel control with a little practise. It didn't have to be that way, and I know it. I know I bitch a lot, but the whole digestion and bowel control thing has been really cool. Thanks for nearly 29 years of that, eh?
Look... it's really hard to really express what you've meant to me. Just know, I'm gonna really miss you okay? It was cool. Thanks for everything, even the shitty bits (pun intended).
Reasons why I'm happy about the surgery:
I can get vaginal reconstructive surgery.
I won't have to ever worry about having a sore butthole from spices or constipation or chemical laxatives again.
I will never have to have a barium enema.
I will never have a sigmoidoscopy.
Or any other colonic traumatic freaking test.
I can have sex without having to have a shower first.
I can go to the bathroom without having to have a shower after.
I will never need to care about explosive diarrhoea.
I won't fart out my bladder anymore.
I can go camping.
That stupid little flap will be gone.
I probably won't throw up as much.
It'll be an adventure. |
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