Decision

02/11/2009

I have decided to end things with my girlfriend.

I can't handle an open relationship anymore. I haven't seen her since September. Every time we made plans, something would come up and she wouldn't be able to make it. Last Sunday we were supposed to meet but I got hungover and decided to cancel it. At the same time, I was nervous to see her because I'm afraid that if I do see her again, it will just bring realization to the fact that my feelings for her have faded. She says I'm the best thing that happened to her. If that is so, then why did she want an open relationship in the first place? Why did she say that she didn't want to be monogamous?


So it's over. I have two issues though. One is whether if I should tell her through text or in person. If in person, it might be harder but at the same time I think she deserves it. I've been dumped through a letter and online in the past. It really sucks. There's no feeling of closure. Just a whole lot of bad feelings. The other issue is when do I end it with her? I really feel bad for ending things with her but I've been so patient. All of my friends are shocked that I'm still with her after not seeing her for months. I don't want to hurt her. I hate making people upset. But I'm making things worse by prolonging them, I think. Anyway, the second issue is: My best friend said to not end it until after Valentine's Day otherwise she will hate Valentine's day forever. I don't know if that would be true for her. My ex broke up with me on Valentine's day before and I was really hurt but I got over it and I don't hate Valentine's day. I just don't see it as a special day, just a hallmark occasion. But at the same time, I don't want to ruin it for her... So I don't know.


I have a lot to think about.