just ...............

11/25/2010

I just ain't grasp this, this is way more than I can handle. My emotions are all over the place, one minute I am fine, and the next minute I am bawling my eyes out. It defiantly is a waste of makeup day.

We are still doing Thanksgiving dinner , with my mom and brother here, and having a few friends over, DH wanted to cancel and not have anyone over, but I said no, that I had already bought stuff and invited people over, I now wish I had, I ain't all that festive or talkative, actually I just want to go crawl in my bed. Chris is suppose to call me today but I think really it is going to not cry when I talk to him.

I just keep remembering when he was little and wish he was little again, but he is all grown up and making his own choices whether they be bad or good I still love him with all my heart. I really wish my FIL was still here with us, he would so know what to do and help us though this, he was such a wise and smart man. I miss him so much...


OK I gotta get off here, I think I just need to go upstairs and chill for a bit, and redo my makeup....